with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
