you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
