What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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