she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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