There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
