i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
