Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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