tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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