the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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