its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
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besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
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i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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