My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
