I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
