i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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