You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
