Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
