If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I can't put those talents on a resume
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
