how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize