i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
