I think I am morally bankrupt
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
