so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
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Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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