she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
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