The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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