i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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