I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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