the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
