She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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