is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
