omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize