ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
