hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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