Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Randomize
