I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
