so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
