If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
