I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
