You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
He has the fingertips of a God
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