Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize