I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
