one two three fourrrrnication!
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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