you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
