doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
