I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
