never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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