Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
