Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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