How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
