3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize