The maid of honor just puked.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
