Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
