Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
