Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
