just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
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