He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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