It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
