Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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