I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
