How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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