Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
wanna go halves on a baby?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you didnt know i had herpes?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Someone came in the potted fern
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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