I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
