idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
