god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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