just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
