Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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