you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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