Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
