I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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